5 Things You Need To Stop Saying To Single People
Once of the most frustrating things about being single – even if you’re happily uncoupled and have no immediate desire to get into the dating game and meet someone special – is the fact that every single person you meet seems to have an opinion, and advice to share with you.
They might be well meaning, but let’s be honest here… They can also be seriously annoying, and in no way helpful. Here are five things that you need to stop saying to single people.
“The right one will come along when you’re least expecting it”
Ahh, the cliche that single people hear on the regular! It’s a nice thought, and it’s one that plenty of people but into it. But I also believe that it can actually be quite damaging. In an ideal world, of course love would come easily. But this isn’t an ideal world, and this often just doesn’t happen.
Why this one really frustrates me is that it leads to people feeling guilty or uncomfortable about deciding that they’re going to proactively start looking for a loving and lasting relationship. If you want to start dating, and you want to take the bull by the horns and make it happen, then there’s absolutely no shame in that. For a further explanation of why this is something you should stop saying to single people, check out this great piece from Bolde.
“You don’t know how lucky you are!”
This one is usually the preface of a rant about how annoying someone’s partner is, and how they miss their single life. You’ll hear stories of socks left on the bathroom floor, crumbs left in the butter tray, and never getting a good night’s sleep thanks to their other half snoring like a bear.
When a conversation starts with this sentence, you’re about to be objected to a long and boring rant that’s entirely about their own circumstances. Sorry, but we all know that it’s true. And to us single people, it also stinks of not knowing how lucky you really are. This is a biggie that you really need to stop saying to single people.
“Have you thought about signing up to one of those dating apps?”
Dating apps are hardly new, and us single people are more than aware that they exist. In fact, one of the UK’s biggest dating sites. Match.com, boasts over 3 million registered users. Many of us are already using them – perhaps unsuccessfully, in some cases – and we don’t really need to be reminded that they’re an option.
So yes, we’ve thought about signing up for them. But maybe we’ve decided that we’ve got other priorities in our lives right now and so dating isn’t a key objective, or perhaps we just want to discuss our dating adventures with anyone who happens to ask about. At the end of the day, dating can be quite a private thing, and we probably don’t want advice that we didn’t ask for.
“So how’s your love life right now?”
If you’re a singleton who’s visiting family at Christmas, or you’ve bumped into an old friend at the pub, then this is something that you’re almost definitely going to hear. The reality is that we might just not want to talk about it. It would be frowned upon for us to ask you about the state of your marriage, so why should things be any different when it’s the other way around?
The bottom line here is that if a single person in your life wants you to know about their dating escapades, they’ll tell you. But please don’t pressure them into feeling like they have to share all the ins and outs.
“I know someone who would be just perfect for you…”
Personally, I’m not completely shut off to the idea of dating a friend of a friend. In many ways, it’s the ideal scenario. But what people usually mean when they say this is ‘I know someone who is also single’. More often than not, they’ve given to thought to whether the two of you may have things in common, or whether you would be compatible.
Again, it also assumes that we aren’t happy with our single status, and that we’re desperately trying to meet a partner, which just isn’t always the case.
We know that you probably do mean well. We know that you might just be trying to make pleasant conversation, or just help us out. But considering the things that you really should stop saying to single people would be doing us a huge favour!
Are there any additional things that you’d add to this list? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts!