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Sometimes, the last thing that we want to do is sit and listen to unsolicited dating and relationship advice from people who think they know what’s best for us, but don’t really understand what we’re dealing with.
Sometimes though, we really could benefit from a little guidance to steer us in the right direction, and help us to navigate the complicated business of finding your ideal partner and creating a loving, lasting, and healthy relationship. We’re too close to the situation to be able to see the wood for the trees, and a little good relationship advice can go a long way.
But where exactly should you turn to get the information and the insight that you need? Here are some suggestions that might just work for you…
Social media and blogs
The beauty of the online world is that there’s a certain level of anonymity available to you if you want it. There are things that you might not feel comfortable asking your nearest and dearest, and when this is the case, you might want to turn to social media or popular dating blogs for an objective look at your situation.
There’s something refreshing about knowing that you aren’t being judged by the people who see you every single day, and that you can be honest about how you really feel. Often, it’s just reassuring to hear that other people are experiencing similar things, and to hear about how they’re tackling their big issues.
In the days when we get access to a ton of information and relationship advice at the click of a button, we often forget the value that can be taken from a book. But there’s a wealth of amazing literature out there that you can get stuck into that can help you to deal with the dating and relationship issues that might come your way in the modern world.
Not sure where to start? I’ve recently finished Date-onomics by Jon Birger and I found it to be a fascinating read. Check it out if want to understand the modern dating game, and why it all comes down to numbers, and creating your own competitive edge.
Your nearest and dearest
This can be a really difficult one, but it can also be the source of some excellent relationship advice. After all, your friends and family know you really well, and at the end of the day, they simply want the best for you. Even if they don’t have any insightful pearls of wisdom to impart, they can provide a listening ear.
If you recognise that you’ve been in the habit of being completely closed off to these kinds of conversation with your nearest and dearest, recognise that you might be shooting yourself in the foot. It’s good to talk.
Your own instincts
I’m very much of the opinion that when we think we’re up against a challenge, we often know the answers deep down in our hearts. Take a bit of time to really connect with your own thoughts and feelings, and dive deep into what comes up for you. I find journalling can really help with this, and it can bring up points that I hadn’t previously consciously considered.
If you’ve got a bad vibe about something or someone, recognise it. If a situation doesn’t feel right, don’t push it to the back of your mind and carry on regardless. Ultimately, you know what’s best for you. Don’t be scared to trust your own instincts.
Where do you turn to for the best relationship advice?
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Getting together with another person and creating a shared live is a beautiful thing, but it can also be messy and complicated business. Along the way, there are lessons to be learned, challenges to navigate, and bumps in the road that can knock us off course if we aren’t really careful.
There are certain relationship mistakes that so many of us are guilty of, and having a little understanding of them can help us to avoid the problems before they happen to us.
Here are a few of the relationship mistakes that you’ll want to steer clear of…
Taking your partner for granted
After the honeymoon period that goes hand in hand with almost every relationship, we often settle into a comfortable routine. Often, this is a really positive thing and it can be much more meaningful and life-affirming than the fireworks you experience in the early days. Too often though, we can take this too far and end up taking our partners for granted.
We just know that they’ll be there when we get home from work, with dinner bubbling away on the stove, and its loses the initial appeal that it used to have. Ask yourself, honestly, whether you’re guilty of this. If you are, it might be time to show them how much you care, and how much you appreciate them being a part of your life.
Letting issues bubble away beneath the surface
If you’re anything me, then you’re all for a quiet life. You hate confrontation, and the last thing that you want to find yourself tied up in are big, explosive arguments with your other half. But sometimes, arguing can actually be good for your relationship.
Disagreements along the way are part and parcel of your love journey, and if you’re not having them, it’s likely that there are issues that are not being addressed. If left for too long, these can cause the kind of toxic rows where you’ll end up saying things that you don’t mean and will ultimately regret.
Breaking trust by sharing secrets with friends and family
When you get into a serious and committed relationship, it’s important that you maintain your relationships with your closest friends and family. But do remember that whilst you may be happy to share your own secrets, being in a relationship means that there are new boundaries that you need to honour.
It’s not wise to share with anyone the fact that he hates his job and really can’t stand his boss, or the fact this his sister is thinking about divorcing her husband. Some things need to be kept between the two or you.
No partnership is perfect, and making a few relationship mistakes along the way is par for the course. We’re all only human, after all. But being mindful of the traps that you can fall into that can impact your happiness can allow you to be much more intentional and mindful of your partner’s needs.
Have you made any of these relationship mistakes in the past?